


Lampshades On Fire

by floatsodelicately



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Mugging, PDLD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 12:00:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3609354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floatsodelicately/pseuds/floatsodelicately
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where Rory and Finn are on their way to a Happy Ever After, there's a minor setback and Finn is a bit narked off about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lampshades On Fire

"Empty your pockets! Now!"

Finn looked from the knife to the man's shadowy face and stifled a groan. This could not be happening right now. It had happened before, he was a wealthy guy with a penchant for getting rat-arsed in the wrong part of various cities around the globe...but it had never been so important that he _didn't get mugged_ , if that was possible.

"Finn," Rory hissed, "what are you doing? We can replace everything, just do what he says!"

"Rore, I really don't want to get mugged tonight."

"I-I don't think we're getting a say in whether or not this happens..." she trailed off.

"Listen to your girlfriend-"

"Oh no, you've ruined tonight already, no way are you giving me relationship advice!"

"I think that was less 'relationship advice' and more 'don't make me stab you advice', please follow it!" Rory snapped.

Finn huffed and turned back to the mugger, "Well I'm having a bit of a stressful night, so please forgive me, sir, if I snapped at you!" He looked at the guys hands and saw that he was holding Rory's phone and purse, she was right, those were replaceable. The contents of his pockets, however, were not.

He sighed and rifled through his trouser pockets, bringing out his phone and wallet and forked them over to the guy.

"Car keys," he barked, holding the knife a little higher as he watched Finn.

"Don't have any, if you hadn't noticed, we were walking when you found us..."

"Dammit Finn!" Rory whispered, closing her eyes in frustration.

"Then what's in your jacket pocket?" he asked, pointing the blade at Finns chest.

"Nothing," Finn answered quickly.

"Nothing, eh?" he smirked.

"What's in your pocket?!" Rory squeaked.

"Nothing's in my pock-!" Finn lurched forward as the mugger yanked his jacket and forced his hand into the breast pocket, pulling out the velvet box.

With them facing away from a now panicking and shrieking Rory, Finn and their attacker exchanged an awkward look.

"Ah...you were..."

"Yup."

"And now..."

"Nope, this whole mugging thing has ruined the mood. Mate, please...it's my grandmothers, I don't give a shit about the phones or the money, but-"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

The men separated quickly, the knife finally lowered and jacket readjusted.

"A misunderstanding, love," Finn chirped.

"A misunderstanding?! What are you-? Are you kidding? If this is like one of your stupid LDB pranks-"

"Hey, some of those required a lot of effort, I'll have you know. And that wasn't the misunderstanding, we are _definitely_ being mugged."

" _Wonderful_."

"Can I at least get my bank card outta there?" he asked him.

"Uh…"

Rory finally lowered her hands and shook her head, "This has to be the most awkward mugging that has ever happened."

"Lady, you have no idea."

"Seriously,” Finn continued. “We’re just going to go and cancel the cards when we get home, might as well give me one back-"

"I, uh…"

"It's not like tonight's going to plan anyway, _is it_?" Finn asked with a pointed glare.

The mugger reached inside the wallet and handed over Finns cards before rolling his eyes and doing the same with Rory's purse. 

"Thanks-" Rory managed to say before the guy finally ran off with their money and phones.

"Did you just thank our knife-wielding mugger?"

"Did you just negotiate with our knife-wielding mugger?"

"I had my reasons, he was all over me, you saw! I had to tell him that I didn't swing that way, poor bugger was devastated- ouch!" Finn cried, clutching at his stinging chest. "No need for that, love! What would your mother say if she knew you were abusing your _thunder from down under_?"

"You know, I'm starting to regret that Sunday brunch deal. Seems like it's just an 'Embarrass Rory' party, I don't know if I like you being in cahoots with my mom."

"Oh you know I'm only in cahoots with you," Finn teased, kissing her temple as he guided her back the way they had been walking. "Come on, let's go home, I'm not in a very restaurant-y mood anymore..."

**Author's Note:**

> Lampshades On Fire - Modest Mouse
> 
> Also, I'm not suggesting you try and negotiate with muggers. This is a fictional mugger with a fictional knife and a fictional romantic spirit that wants Rory/Finn marital bliss. Most muggers don't care about this ship and will probably stab you, please don't get stabbed. Thank you for reading :)


End file.
